When Challenges Happen
There are a number of typical problems that can undermine our best efforts at managing or modifying our unwanted habits. The good news is that we can learn from these, do something about them, and get back on track with the more important task of controlling our own choices.
Here are some of the most common issues with hints about how to address them!
No Target
"I tried it. It didn't work."
If you don't set a target or the target that you aim for is unrealistic then even the Four-Step Program is likely to lead to disappointing results.
If you have not got the results that you want then just start again by setting a new target. Changing your habit for just one day is a start and then you can set your next target to say 2 days, then 5 days, or 5:2 = 5 days clear with 2 days indulging (in moderation). The Four-Step Program can work to support you achieve almost any target and even combinations of target but a simple well-defined target works best.
For more information and support click here:
Setting Targets
Sneaky Temptations
"I found myself doing it without even really noticing what I was doing."
Many temptations can be sneeky. You can maybe find yourself automatically reaching out for something almost before you have time to think about what you are doing.
For more information and support click here:
Sneaky Temptation
Self-Pity
"I'm bored."
We might not immediately realise that we are falling into self-pity. What we do tend to notice is some form of uncomfortable feelings and thoughts (anger, boredom, anxiety, etc.).
For more information and support click here:
Self-Pity
Procrastination
"I'm just not sure."
With every decision comes the potential for regret.
For more information and support click here:
Procrastination
Apathy
"I just don't care enough to fight these temptations, I'll do it and worry about it later."
If we repeatedly give in to temptation then we may get a reduction in our willingness to engage meaningfully with our own life.
For more information and support click here:
Apathy
Depression
"I can't do this."
Depression amplifies our discomfort to an intense level whilst also reducing our determination to resist the temptation.
For more information and support click here:
Depression
Compulsion (Certainty)
"I am going to...."
There may be times when our temptation comes to us in the form of certainty. There seems to be no question about what we are going to do, and our targets mean nothing.
For more information and support click here:
Compulsion
Bingeing (Craving/Hunger/Obsession/Etc)
"Just a bit more."
We like to imagine that we are able to be in control of our own mind and even able to control our environment through our actions.
For more information and support click here:
Bingeing
Rebellion
"I deserve a break, let's have some fun!" or "I'm a grown up and I'll do what I want!"
Another form of sneeky temptation with some self-justification thrown in.
For more information and support click here:
Rebellion
Overwhelm/Burnout
"I can't take any more of this!"
The effects of repeated stress over a period can result in both noticed and unnoticed reductions in resilience.
For more information and support click here:
Burnout
Desperation (Seeking to be Whole)
"I want to feel OK/normal/special/different/nothing!"
It can be important to remind yourself that you have purposes worth aiming for.
For more information and support click here:
Desperation
General Anxiety
"I'm worn out by all this worrying, I want a break!"
Whatever the form, or forms, of anxiety that apply to you, the end effect on your unwanted habit is likely to be the same.
For more information and support click here:
Anxiety
Neurodiversity
"Am I the only one?"
For more information and support click here:
Neurodiversity
When All Else Fails
"I've tried everything, and none of it has worked."
For more information and support click here:
Safety-Net